Update on You.

Dear Delilah,

You’re beautiful; for lack of better words, you’re beautiful.

I’ve been meaning to make an update on your life for sometime now. I know one day you will read back through these blogs hanging onto every word as I recall your baby days, so here goes..


Delilah Rain, today is January 3rd, 2018. You are 9 months and 1 day old.¬†You weigh approximately 20lbs & I’m pretty sure you carry most of the weight in your thighs. After losing all of your dark brown newborn hair, your hair is finally starting to grow back very slowly and much lighter in color. It’s hard to say what color your hair will be but judging by your dark eyelashes, I’ll bet that you’re going to be a brunette like me. As for your eye color, it’s too dark to be blue but it’s still up in the air whether they’ll be brown, a deep green, or even hazel. Your skin is light and sensitive like your daddy’s. You turn red when you’re hot, cold, or is something barely bumps you.


This last month is has been so much fun watching you learn new things. You’ve started walking all around in your walker, army crawling everywhere, pulling up on things, opening drawers & cabinets, feeding yourself, etc. You’re learning to drink from a sippy cup with a straw but always end up covered in your drink. You are so vocal. It comes as no surprise that your first word was “Dada”. You’ve held your own bottle since you were 4 months & have been sleeping in your bed in your own room since about 4 months as well. You usually wake up once through the night & take one nap during the day that is anywhere from 2-5 hours. You like to put everything in your mouth especially things that you shouldn’t, like a beetle that you managed to get a hold of somehow. You haven’t had any teeth break through yet but we aren’t rushing anything. You’ve eaten a huge amount of fruits and vegetables but you aren’t a big fan of butternut squash.


How do I begin to explain your personality? You’re happy. You genuinely find joy in everything around you. Your light brings smiles to everyone you meet. I often see you entertaining elderly people in stores. There is something so wonderful about the relationship between babies and elderly people. You love other children, whether they’re newborns or 10 years old. You’re so eager to play with them without realizing that you’re just a baby yourself. You’re fearless. The world has not yet hurt you in ways that you can’t forget. My sweet girl, you run at life full speed. You see the best in everyone and forgive so quickly. You were recently bitten by a beautiful big bird & after you cried for a minute, you wanted to be right next to him again. You love animals; birds, cats, dogs, horses. You name it. You’re adventurous. If curiosity killed the cat, then we’re lucky you aren’t one. You need to know what’s around every corner, in every box, drawer, and cabinet. I dread the day when your adventurous soul longs to skydive or swim with sharks.

Watching you grow has been one of the greatest blessings in my life. Everyday I look forward to seeing you learn new things, take new steps, conquer new obstacles. I hope that you never stop seeking the beauty that this world has to offer. I hope you never stop seeing the good in people. I hope you never take for granted this roller coaster we call life.

Forever loving you, Mom.





Beginning to live

Dear Delilah,

Throughout your life you will develop fears; fight through them. Fears do nothing but hold you back & limit your experiences. 

I have a ridiculous fear that I don’t admit to people often because it sounds silly to even voice it but I think I’m ready to face it head on. 

I fear being a beginner.

Yes, I know it’s ridiculous. Everyone has to go through a beginner stage. I fear that stage. Looking back it’s disappointing the amount of experiences that I’ve missed out on simply because I didn’t want to look like a fool trying something new. 

All my friends in college played soccer. They would ask me to play but there’s no way I’d jump into a pick up game with collegiate soccer players when I’d never even kicked a soccer ball. 

I always wanted to play soccer..

I went to Colorado with a couple friends of mine a few years ago & the opportunity to snowboard came up. I figured they had both been before so I was going to sit out. (Yes, I was really going to skip snowboarding because I thought 2 of my best friends were more advanced.) As soon as I found out that they had never been, I decided to go because we were beginners together. I had a blast.

I don’t know where the fear came from. Perhaps it was from Jr. High when I trained for weeks for brig auditions & was the only one on my team that didn’t make it.. Some of the girls had been dancing their whole lives. Who was I to come in there with no experience & expect to make it? 

& cheer tryouts. I cheered one year for a little league football team but that couldn’t compare to the years of competition cheer the other girls had experienced. 

I never auditioned for anything again.

Until I found theatre & choir that is. I never strayed from the stage, my comfort zone. 

If I let this fear control me then I will never experience new things in life. There are so many things that I dream of doing, things that I want to excel at but I know that I’ve got to push through the first stages. I have to get back up when I fall, & accept that I will fall. 

I’ve decided to make a list of things that I’d like to do in my lifetime.  

  • Learn to play an instrument
  • Practice yoga
  • Plant a garden
  • Go surfing
  • Workout
  • Make art, without words because that’s my comfort zone. (Paint, draw, make pottery)
  • Learn sign language
  • Take up photography
  • Play soccer
  • Cooking/baking
  • Archery
  • Aerial Silks 
  • Styling my hair

Here’s to letting go of an irrational fear & allowing myself to begin.

Delilah, I hope that you never let fear stand in the way of life. Live life to the fullest. Allow yourself to fall but never forget to pick yourself back up. I can’t wait to see the adventures you choose to take on.