Throughout your life you will develop fears; fight through them. Fears do nothing but hold you back & limit your experiences.
I have a ridiculous fear that I don’t admit to people often because it sounds silly to even voice it but I think I’m ready to face it head on.
I fear being a beginner.
Yes, I know it’s ridiculous. Everyone has to go through a beginner stage. I fear that stage. Looking back it’s disappointing the amount of experiences that I’ve missed out on simply because I didn’t want to look like a fool trying something new.
All my friends in college played soccer. They would ask me to play but there’s no way I’d jump into a pick up game with collegiate soccer players when I’d never even kicked a soccer ball.
I always wanted to play soccer..
I went to Colorado with a couple friends of mine a few years ago & the opportunity to snowboard came up. I figured they had both been before so I was going to sit out. (Yes, I was really going to skip snowboarding because I thought 2 of my best friends were more advanced.) As soon as I found out that they had never been, I decided to go because we were beginners together. I had a blast.
I don’t know where the fear came from. Perhaps it was from Jr. High when I trained for weeks for brig auditions & was the only one on my team that didn’t make it.. Some of the girls had been dancing their whole lives. Who was I to come in there with no experience & expect to make it?
& cheer tryouts. I cheered one year for a little league football team but that couldn’t compare to the years of competition cheer the other girls had experienced.
I never auditioned for anything again.
Until I found theatre & choir that is. I never strayed from the stage, my comfort zone.
If I let this fear control me then I will never experience new things in life. There are so many things that I dream of doing, things that I want to excel at but I know that I’ve got to push through the first stages. I have to get back up when I fall, & accept that I will fall.
I’ve decided to make a list of things that I’d like to do in my lifetime.
- Learn to play an instrument
- Practice yoga
- Plant a garden
- Go surfing
- Make art, without words because that’s my comfort zone. (Paint, draw, make pottery)
- Learn sign language
- Take up photography
- Play soccer
- Aerial Silks
- Styling my hair
Here’s to letting go of an irrational fear & allowing myself to begin.
Delilah, I hope that you never let fear stand in the way of life. Live life to the fullest. Allow yourself to fall but never forget to pick yourself back up. I can’t wait to see the adventures you choose to take on.